Overcoming challenges and misunderstandings with your student
Hardships and misunderstandings will happen throughout the exchange. As your student adjusts to life in your home, you may need to review your house rules, expectations and preferences again. Here are some recommendations on how to reset behavior expectations in your home after your student has arrived.
Regroup and communicate
Come together as a family and discuss current challenges. Remember to be clear, direct and respectful in expressing concerns. As the adult, you will set the tone for the conversation.
Emotions can run high, so loop in your IEC to mediate and hold a family meeting if needed. IEC involvement can de-escalate tensions through collaborative and balanced communication.
Prioritize timing
Take the time and space to feel calm and purposeful going into the conversation. Be sure to bring up your concerns in a timely fashion so your student makes the connection between the behavior and your feedback. Address concerns as they come up, no matter how small, to avoid resentment or escalated issues later.
“So from my experience, communication is the key to have a better relationship. What happens very often is that people don’t say what behaviors or habits are bothering them. This will lead to frustration, discomfort and misunderstandings.”
— Marina from Spain
Review prior expectations and responsibilities
Review your house rules and expectations that were set when your student first arrived (curfew, chores, asking permission to go places, social activities, etc.). Identify any misunderstandings and how certain expectations are not being met. If necessary, review the "Rules and Regulations" document that all students sign. There is a copy of that document in the resources section towards the end of this guidebook.
Keep the conversation constructive, specific and current. Avoid a “laundry list” of grievances or issues that were previously addressed.
Reset and make changes where applicable
Clarify which guidelines have some flexibility and which rules are firm. Outline the concrete steps that all family members will take to improve the situation. Set a time to check in with everyone to follow up on the conversation. Be sure to include any improvements you've noticed.
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Before your student arrives
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The first days
How to start building your relationship before your student arrives
Making your student feel at home
Rocky start? Try active listening if you're struggling to communicate
Overcoming a language barrier: how you can help
Top tips for supporting your homesick student
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Life with your student
5 ways to enjoy fall as a family
10 ways to get in the Halloween spirit
5 ways to give back in November
My student is struggling academically: how can I help?
Participation is important: help your student get involved locally
American traditions every exchange student wants to try
Navigating religious differences and expectations
Overcoming challenges and misunderstandings with your student
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